Laura Erickson's For the Birds

Probably the jolliest association I have ever made as a result of this radio program is with Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and humor columnist Dave Barry. Several years ago, I wrote him about the problems I was having getting insurance adjustors to give me a straight answer to a simple question. I knew that wildlife damage isn’t covered on standard homeowner’s policies, so if a Ruffed Grouse crashes through a window, you can’t collect. But if a kid throws a rock through the window, it’s covered as vandalism. What I wanted to know is, is it covered if a kid throws a Ruffed Grouse through the window? Every single insurance adjustor instantly asked in a stern, humor-impaired voice, “Why do you want to know?”

When I wrote a letter complaining to Dave Barry, he sent me back a postcard asking if it’s covered if you shoot an insurance adjustor and he bleeds on your furniture.

When my book came out, Dave Barry actually wrote an endorsement of it, saying:

This book is invaluable. For example, it states that as many as 1,600 tapeworms have been found in a single duck. This is the kind of information I use every day.

In gratitude, I mailed him a tapeworm from a nighthawk, and he sent me another postcard saying, “Thanks. It was delicious.” At the American Booksellers convention this May, he shook my hand and actually recognized me. At that moment, I could have died happy.

Apparently, my association with Dave Barry wasn’t over quite yet. Last week my little boy Tommy came up to me and said, “Mom, there’s a man on the phone who says he’s Dave Barry!”

Sure enough, there was Dave Barry, breathing little Pulitzer Prize-winning humor electrons into my telephone. He’s putting together his annual Christmas Gift-buying Guide, and decided to include nighthawk tapeworms on his list. He was wondering exactly what people do to get a nighthawk tapeworm. I suggested following a nighthawk around to check the droppings for the pretty white luminescence that’s the sure sign of a tapeworm.

When he asked where nighthawks get their tapeworms, I explained that the tapeworm eggs grow in a beetle or fly that has been feeding on an infected nighthawk’s droppings. When another nighthawk eats the insect, the eggs hatch in its intestines. Dave Barry found that natural cycle to be satisfying evidence that overall, nature is pretty darned weird.

He’s fun to talk to. The best thing about him is that he sounds genuinely nice. He even offered to put in a plug for my book in the column. Anyway, here was more proof that not only are tapeworms far more useful than most people realize, they’re also an excellent way to meet popular and influential journalists.