For the Birds Radio Program: OLDIE: Jim Baker's Oil of Ojay
I’m not sure when this first aired–probably around 2000–but I am adding it now because I’m posting several funny programs in time for April Fool’s Day.
Transcript
This is Jim Baker and I’ve got a question for you. How come every time I turn on the tube I hear women in their 30s and 40s earnestly talking into the TV camera about how they have no desire to grow old gracefully? They’d rather waste their money buying face cream that they hope will turn back the clock.
Now that really ticks me off. Don’t those people realize just how lucky they are? Most Blue Jays don’t live long enough to see their first birthday and the oldest wild Blue Jay on record made it only to 15. Its whole life amounted to less than half of those frivolous ladies who waste what time they do have griping about a few wrinkles. You’ll never see a Blue Jay complaining into a camera about getting old. No way, Ho-Jay!
It’s just not fair that Blue Jays get such a short time on this earth. It made me so mad thinking about it that I got to work and came up with something that will really turn the clock back for your Jays. My Oil of Ojay will protect your bird’s tender skin from pollution and from the sun’s harmful rays shining through that hole in the ozone. It’ll thicken their bones to withstand the hardest picture window, reinforce their beaks and claws so that they can win against the hungriest cat or Sharp-shinned Hawk, and add enough insulating fat to keep them warm when the mercury dips to 40 below.
Yep, give your jays the chance to grow old gracefully. With Oil of Ojay, available only at Baker’s Blue Jay Barn. Up the Shore a Ways!