For the Birds Radio Program: How Earth Angel Bird Identification Binoculars Saved Christmas

Original Air Date: Dec. 17, 1999 (estimated date) Rerun Dates: Dec. 24, 2020; Dec. 23, 2019; Dec. 25, 2018; Dec. 25, 2009

Did you ever wish you had a pair of binoculars that identified the birds you saw in 12 seconds flat? This program featured Joe Erickson as technologically advanced Rudolph, Ramiro Figueroa as world-weary Blitzen, and Ian Smith as clueless Santa when they were seniors in high school.

Duration: 2′24″

Transcript

SANTA: Ho ho ho!

BLITZEN: Santa, where are we?

SANTA: We’re just reaching the Australian coast, Blitzen.

BLITZEN: Are you sure about that? I think we made a wrong turn somewhere around Madagascar. It feels like we’re heading north.

SANTA: Ho ho ho! I know what I’m doing. I’ve been following this route for centuries.

RUDOLPH: Santa, even with my red nose, I can hardly see a thing. Maybe we should ask someone for directions.

SANTA: Ho ho ho!

BLITZEN: Rats, Rudolph. He’s a typical guy. He’ll never ask for directions.

RUDOLPH: Hey! There’s a bird sitting in that branch down there. Lucky Santa let us open our Christmas presents early. I can identify it with my new Earth Angel Bird Identification Binoculars—World Edition. With the teeny tiny microchip embedded in binocular housing, it can compare a bird we see with plumage of every known species and identify it in 12 seconds flat.

BLITZEN: How will that help?

RUDOLPH: You’ll see.... There! My Earth Angel bird identification binoculars say it’s a Ceylon Frogmouth, so we must be in Sri Lanka.

SANTA: You’re right, Rudolph. I did make a wrong turn. Ho ho ho!

BLITZEN: Thank goodness we figured it out in time. Earth Angel bird identification binoculars saved Christmas!

SANTA: Yes, now the good little children who ask for Pokemon games will find them under their trees on Christmas morning, saving the Japanese economy as well. Ho ho ho!

LAURA: Earth Angel Bird Identification Binoculars may not save your Christmas, but they will identify the bird you see in 12 seconds flat or your money back.

SANTA: Ho ho ho!